remembering

I often wondered will this past year fade from our minds
well it be a thought that will just be too hard to find,
I want to always remember my daughter battle,
her ups and her downs
her smiles and her frowns
I want to remember her triumph!!
It reminds me of how great is our Lord
How he heals our hearts with his word
I can feel him saying"this verse is for you."
When those days are bad I remember those verses in my heart
and those are what helps me from falling apart.
I want to tell her one day of how she won her battle with Cancer!
how do I know she will win??? In the bible I found that answer!
I have opened a new door of Hope and faith.
a door covered with pink butterflies and white daisies galore
Filled with Love and tons of Peace all behind this door.
im not sure of much in this life,
But I do know God's love is true
And with this you can go through all that you do

God is Good!

We have has such a great few months. my princess is doing well and I have peace. I have a peace that cannot be explained nor can anything be compared to this peace. I am filled with hope and loaded with God's Grace. Yesterday I was reading my bible a fell upon this verse. It just flew out at me as if this verse was sent to me by God himself."And he said unto her,DAUGHTER,THY FAITH HATH MADE THEE WHOLE;GO IN PEACE AND BE WHOLE OF THY PLAGUE." i truely belive that my fait will conquer all my fears and God will heal my daugher and make her whole. What a great thought.

Light the night!

there are so many kids that are going through what Nevaeh is going through. SO many kids that are going through so much worse..... Some beat this battle some lose. But they are all warriors and stronger than you or I.
I figured a way to help would be through the Leukemia Lymphoma society. They ahve all kinds of walks and foundations that can help raise money for these kids. believe me its not money being wasted, it really is a huge help. This society helps the family alot especially in hospital stays.
SO i am participating in this walk called Light the Night. We are walking in Oct. at Discovery green park. and we need to raise money. If you would like to help leave me a message and an email address. I will send you the site to look on and my group name. Please think of Nevaeh and all the other kids that are fighting this battle!

New hopes,new state of mind(fingers crossed)

The 24th of this month marks a year since Nevaeh has been diagnosed. ALot has happened in a year,good,sad, and heartbreaking. Most of all a peace that I thought would never be found was found. Under so much pain and confusion,under so much anger and frustration. I can finnally breathe. I can finnally feel the peace i have been longing for. Though i have to reach out to God and ask for his help,I have it! Finnally. I know it sounds crazt to some.I know it does.But i have no other optionn except to lose my mind,my hope and my family.Because you go into a depression so fierce that you forget you have other children and a spouse. You forget that there is a world outside your hospital room or outside you house....
I have a speck of faith left in my heart and i gave it all to him. He has gave me grace in an abundance form and peace like no other ive ever had! So i celebrate my daughters year mark! no matter how much it stil may hurt from time to time,i embrace her life and Thank God for it all!!

Happy Birthday Princess Nevaeh

To my sweet princess Nevaeh, on your special day,
Filled with love, joy and grace-all this for you I pray.
You are our only daughter- the only girl,
Even more rare and precious than a salt water pearl!
I can still remember the day you were born-I could hold you in one arm,
And you always amazed us with all your charm.
Amazed by your smiles and your coos,
Just being near you could take away anyone’s blues!
Your name says it all:
You came from heaven by God up above,
You entered my heart with all its love.
You made my world pink and lace,
You melted my heart with your sweet heart shaped face.
Today, my princess you made another year,
Your growing so fast, that is my fear.
Just remember my sweet daughter:
Come hail, or high water,
I will always be here for you
In all that you prosper to do! I will always be fair,
Hurting you I could never bare.
You are my daughter my princess my star,
You’re growing so fast! It seems so bizarre!!
So let’s make books full of memories with your family and friends too,
Have fun on this day that we made so special for you!

new beginnings,new feelings new hope and fingers forever crossed

Its been so long sence i have written,Alot has changed....
I am no longer scared or worried,I am no longer afraid or confused.I dont think about things like I used to and I see days so much more brighter.
I enjoy life so much more now,I sometimes wander off in my thought and replay the first 6 months and I cross my fingers.
No more pain please....
I tear up and have a familar pain again when I think about it all
SO I close my eyes and think about today...
I learned a great lesson in this whole climb
God is in control,if you give it all to him her will help you breathe
he will help you see and he will take away your pain...

HAPPINESS

It's been so long sence I've shed a tear
It's been so long sence Ive had a fear
All I see before me is Happinsess and peace
All the sadness I have given release
My days are so much brighter
Knowing God has given me a little fighter!
He gives her a strength more powerful than I will know
A peace that seems to continuously flow
I am happy and full of God's grace
Knowing I can today see my daughters face
I will live for every single moment,for every single day
And enjoy my life along the way.
God has given me sucha life
He's blesses me as a mother and a wife.
So much to be happy for
I couldnt ask for anything more.