new beginnings,new feelings new hope and fingers forever crossed

Its been so long sence i have written,Alot has changed....
I am no longer scared or worried,I am no longer afraid or confused.I dont think about things like I used to and I see days so much more brighter.
I enjoy life so much more now,I sometimes wander off in my thought and replay the first 6 months and I cross my fingers.
No more pain please....
I tear up and have a familar pain again when I think about it all
SO I close my eyes and think about today...
I learned a great lesson in this whole climb
God is in control,if you give it all to him her will help you breathe
he will help you see and he will take away your pain...

HAPPINESS

It's been so long sence I've shed a tear
It's been so long sence Ive had a fear
All I see before me is Happinsess and peace
All the sadness I have given release
My days are so much brighter
Knowing God has given me a little fighter!
He gives her a strength more powerful than I will know
A peace that seems to continuously flow
I am happy and full of God's grace
Knowing I can today see my daughters face
I will live for every single moment,for every single day
And enjoy my life along the way.
God has given me sucha life
He's blesses me as a mother and a wife.
So much to be happy for
I couldnt ask for anything more.

Happy Thanxgiving!!!!!

God has given me so much to be thankful for.
Here is my list of what I am grateful for:
First and for most I am Thankful for my Salvation
I am Thankful for my husband who Loves me so very much
He is my prince charming and my soul mate.
He shows me God is true and knows what is right.
I am Thankful for my oldest child Antony,
who gives me so much to be proud of.
Through him I see Hope only God can give.
I am Thankful for My second child Fili,
who through his autism has shown me God's Patience
and my goals.
I am Thankful for my munchkin Mateo,
who shows me with God all things are possible!
Through his disability I see God's light.
I am Thankful for my Princess Nevaeh,
She has shown me God is always good.He walks with me on these good days
and he carries me through the bad days.
I am Thankful for my family,
for my family in my church
and for my family in my life.
Through them I see God's peace and Love
I am thankful for the new family(sarah and her family)I have in my life.
Through them God shows me new beginnings.
I am Thankful for so many people in my life.
I am so very Thankful for the good days God gives me with my family.
And also for the bad one's because he always gives me HOPE!

My Lion Princess

My daughter Princess Nevaeh is and always will be a fighter.Those who know her no that she was made special.Her spirit is a of a fighter,of a great warrior, of a couragous Lion.She has a strength that only God can give and a hope that only he created.Many days I lay at night wondering ,what is God trying to show me or say? My daughter is my gift from God he gave her to me for
a special reason.I pray everyday that he lets me keep her.I pray everyday he gives me strength like she has.I pray that he gives me the courage he gives her.What a Couragous Lion I have.She is my Princess,My Lion Princess!

The New Me

I am not the person I was before
That person is Gone!
The one who cared what others thought of her.
The person who thought about future plans,
She's gone!
The person who loved doing her hair,
and going to the nail shop,
The one who had lunch with her friends,
and planned weekend trips with her husband,
She's gone!
The one who took her place is much diffrent:
She doesnt make plans
She refuses to think of the future
She has very few friends because she knows not everyone sticks around.
She's scared to say aloud her true feelings and thoughts,
Not because of what others might think,but because of what she herself might think.
The new Me cries way too much!Way more than the Me that left.
She feels way more emotions and has way more fears.
She questions God's plans alot,even though she knows he knows best.
Her heart breaks everyday,
Her vallies are deeper and her storms brutal.
My whole world has flipped upside down,
My days of sunshine are few in between,How much more will my heart break??
As I stand and watch my whole world become unravled,
I still have a grain of faith that God does have a plan.
I still believe only he gives me peace.
If that didnt exist I would hold nothing,
No hope,
No peace,
Nothing but heartache,
and sadness.
As I sit here now,I wait for my small ray of sunshine....
Thats all thats left to do.

Life's Miracles

Life’s miracles
Life’s miracles come in so many different shapes, sizes and ways.
It comes sudden and unexpected
It comes when you’re sad and feel like there is no more you can take
It comes when your days are filled with joy and Happiness
You can see them in the eyes of your children
You can see it in the hearts of your mate
You can hear it in the air
You can hear it being whispered in your ear
You know they exist when you see rainbows in the skies
You know in can happen when you feel god’s hands on you
Our lives are filled with miracles every single day
We don’t always see them or realize they exist
But they are in our days and in God’s plan

Milagros de la vida
Los milagros de la vida vienen en tan muchas diversos formas, tamaños y maneras.
Viene repentino e inesperado
Viene cuando usted es triste y la sensación como no hay no más usted puede tomar
Viene cuando sus días se llenan de alegría y de felicidad
Usted puede verlos a los ojos de sus niños
Usted puede verlo en los corazones de su compañero
Usted puede oírlo en el aire
Usted puede oírlo que es susurrado en su oído
Usted sabe que existen cuando usted ve los arco iris en los cielos
Usted sabe adentro puede suceder cuando usted siente las manos del dios en usted
Nuestras vidas se llenan de milagros cada solo día
No vemos siempre que o realizarlos existen
Pero están en nuestros días y en el plan del dios

Make a diffrence

Some days are filled with anger and uncertainty
Thinking what this world is thinking of
Letting children die everyday
Wondering why children have to have so much pain
Looking in my babies faces
Wishing I could take it all away
Knowing I go through it with them every day
People are so unaware of what is happening to our babies’ lives
So much can help but still we all stand still and do nothing
People always ask me “what can I do to help you?”
There is soooo much we all could do
You can actually save a child’s life
You can make a difference in families’ homes
You can make a mommy feel relief that she so badly needs
You can make a daddy feel his heart begin to mend
You can give them a future they might not otherwise have
Do you not get it? Do you not understand?
You worry about how much it might hurt,
You think I’m too scared of what might happen
Well think about what these kids go through every second of every day
Think how they puke their insides out over and over everyday
Think how their mouths and stomachs get full of painful sores
Think of how they can barely eat or drink
Or how they are screaming when they poke and prod them
How they get spinal taps once a week, then once a month
Think how they have to see themselves with no hair
As they hear kids ask are you a boy or a girl?
Think what that does to them
Think about the foreign objects in their bodies
And the poisons they have to take every day
In order to survive another day
It’s not that hard at all!
You can make a difference in so many children’s lives.